Drunk man sets fire to peanuts then humps ambulance

There's just some things that don't need to be commented on, they just speak for themselves. Seriously, you just couldn't make this shit up:

Man tried making love to an ambulance in Barnstaple bus station

North Devon Journal

A DRUNK man set fire to a packet of peanuts and tried making love to an ambulance, North Devon Magistrates' Court has heard.

Calum Ward, 25, of Westaway Heights, Barnstaple, was spotted by police in Barnstaple bus station on November 12.​ The court heard he was "in relatively high spirits" and said he was going home to sober up.

But he was then spotted on CCTV in a phone box setting light to a packet of peanuts while also punching them.

The court heard Ward also approached members of the public who were forced to turn their backs on him and walk away. He then approached a nearby ambulance and spread himself in front of it.

Mark Haddow, for the defence, said the attending police officer commented: "It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance."

If this fella is trying to forget about the whole incident, he probably won't be pleased to know that a MS Paint depiction of his indiscretion is now circling the internet.

This creation is courtesy of the absolutely genius Jim'll Paint It (http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com) :