The 'DO I GIVE A SHIT' award goes to...

We live in an age of people who assume others give a shit about what they say. You need not wander far to find someone who has decided to announce to the world (via Facebook or Twitter) how they've drank some tea or just bought some socks.

But what if airing every single inane thought you have on social media just isn't enough? You've pondered why your big toe is slightly crooked with your Facebook friends, tweeted your underwear colour to your Twitter followers, and posted a sepia photo of you taking a dump on Instagram.

Next step - THE NATION.

THE BASTARD WON £50 FOR WRITING THAT!

Maybe I need to rethink my career; that bloke made more than some minimum wage workers earn in a day, just by making a pointless comment about something on telly.

Here's a draft of a letter I'm considering sending to The Sun:

"Have you noticed how Emily from Eastenders (*made up name; I don't watch it) always wears her parting to the left hand side but then on Friday's episode, she had a centre parting? The producers really should make her sort that out because her hair inconsistency makes me think she must be a massive prostitute who sells her body to tramps for a tenner!"