Student becomes expert on Oscar Pistorius court case!
Had I known that merely attending an educational establishment would allow me to become a prominent voice in a murder investigation, I would've started lending my opinions to newspapers when I was 17 and studying for my A-levels.
Obviously, I would've started on smaller matters such as petty crime, you can't run before you can walk afterall. I would've said something like: "Thieving and mugging old ladies is wrong," because it fucking is.
Now I have a media-related Master's degree under my belt, surely I am now qualified to make comments on matters such as fiscal policy?
I may ring up The Sun tomorrow and say: "Oi! Fix the economy now! It's not right that Creme Eggs now cost 80p each and are noticebly smaller than in the past, this shit has got to stop! Oh, and you gotta sort that deficit out George!"
That'll be him told.
Next week - Dale Winton on how the horsemeat scandal has shocked him (quote: "I am shocked!"), and The Proclaimers explain their opposition to North Korea's nuclear tests.
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